Sometimes we know what we want. Or at least, we think we do. Perhaps we have wanted it for years. The bigger house, the successful career, the relationship, the family, the life that looks a certain way from the outside. When we have been moving towards something for long enough, it can seem rather strange […]
There are things we put off because they are inconvenient. The dentist, the paperwork, the cupboard that needs clearing out. We know they need doing, but there is always something else that seems more important, and somehow tomorrow feels like a perfectly reasonable time to deal with them. Then there are the things we put […]
Why an unexpected outcome doesn't necessarily mean you made the wrong decision Have you ever looked back at a decision that didn't turn out as you expected and thought, I should have known better? Perhaps you took a job that seemed right at the time, but it turned out to be very different from what […]
There is a difference between being responsible for someone and feeling responsible for what happens to them. It is a small distinction on paper, but in real life it can change the way we work, lead, love and support the people around us. Perhaps you know the experience of caring about someone and then finding […]
Have you ever walked away from a conversation and thought, "Why didn't I say that?" Perhaps you knew exactly what you wanted to say. Perhaps you had a perfectly reasonable point to make, a question you wanted to ask, or a boundary you wanted to express. Yet when the moment arrived, the words seemed to […]
There are certain patterns I notice again and again in the work I do with clients, and one of the most common is a difficulty with receiving. Not occasionally, but consistently. Compliments feel awkward, help can feel unnecessary or intrusive, support is hard to accept, gifts are rejected and kindness often brings up guilt rather […]
From the outside, many people carrying unresolved childhood trauma look completely fine. They go to work, run businesses, care for families, meet deadlines, support other people and keep functioning. In fact, many are the people others describe as “strong,” “capable,” or “the one who always holds everything together.” And yet internally, they may feel: One […]
You can be intelligent, capable, and outwardly “fine”…and still find yourself reacting in ways you don’t fully understand. Holding back when you have something to say.Overthinking decisions that should feel simple.Saying yes when you mean no.Pushing yourself to keep going, even when you’re exhausted. And at some point, you might have wondered: “Why am I […]
You manage your responsibilities.You show up for the people who rely on you.You keep things moving — even when life is full. People might even describe you as strong, capable, reliable and resilient. And in many ways, that’s true. But there’s another side to this that often goes unseen. Because coping, especially when you’ve been […]
Introduction: We live in a world that’s constantly pulling our attention toward what’s wrong, be it the news cycle, our inner critic, and the brain’s own bias toward threat. It’s no wonder that when something good happens, we often barely notice it before moving on to the next worry. But what if you could train […]
Why Gentle Attention Heals More Than Harsh Control Continuing the Journey Over the past few months, we’ve been exploring how small, intentional shifts can change the way we feel and the way we move through life. We began with gratitude: the art of noticing what’s good. Then we moved into recognising glimmers, those fleeting moments […]
Introduction: A Continuation of Our Journey Over the last few months, we’ve been exploring how small, intentional shifts can make a meaningful difference in how we feel and how we move through the world. We began with gratitude, the practice of noticing what’s good. Then we explored glimmers, those fleeting moments of connection or joy […]
Introduction We all know the excitement of starting a new habit. Whether it’s exercising more, drinking more water, journaling, or cutting back on phone time, the first few days often feel full of energy and possibility. But then life happens. You feel tired. Work piles up. The kids need something. Suddenly, the motivation that felt […]
Introduction If you’ve ever tried to start a new habit, you’ll know that some days it feels easy… and some days it’s like pulling teeth. One of the simplest ways to make it easier is to start tracking it. Not as a form of judgment or a rigid rule, but as a way of noticing. […]
Introduction Sometimes the habits we want to change feel like they’ve got a life of their own. We find ourselves scrolling late at night, snacking when we’re not hungry, or turning on the TV without even deciding to. It’s not that we’re lazy or lacking in willpower, our brains are simply wired to choose what’s […]
Introduction We often think of building new habits as a matter of discipline, gritting our teeth, setting reminders, pushing ourselves to remember. But what if there was a kinder way? One of the simplest, most powerful shifts you can make is to put the habit you want right where you can see it. It sounds […]
Introduction In the last two months, we’ve explored gratitude and glimmers, the art of noticing moments of light that already exist around us. Today, we’re taking that a step further. Instead of simply waiting for those moments to appear, what if you could intentionally create them? These self-created moments are what I call tiny islands […]
Last month, we explored the transformative power of gratitude - how noticing and naming what’s good in our lives, however small, can soothe the nervous system and shift our perspective. This month, I’d like to go one step further, and invite you to start noticing what many of us miss entirely: glimmers. These small, fleeting […]
The Science of Gratitude: Why It Works and How to Make It Work for You Gratitude is often described as a feel-good emotion — a warm, fuzzy sense of thankfulness that emerges in moments of appreciation. But beneath the surface of this seemingly simple concept lies a complex psychological and physiological process that can have […]
Are You Motivated By Pain or Purpose? We all want to make positive changes—eat better, set boundaries, pursue dreams. But if you’ve ever started strongly only to lose momentum, it might not be a lack of discipline—it might be your type of motivation. This post is an exploration of the difference between away-from and towards […]
We’ve all heard about the power of positive affirmations—statements like “I am successful”, “I am confident” and of course that old chestnut “I am healthy, wealthy and wise”. The idea is simply to repeat a positive belief enough times, that our minds will start to accept it as truth. But for many people, affirmations don’t […]
"Great things are done by a series of small things brought together." – Vincent Van Gogh This profound insight from Van Gogh encapsulates the essence of transformation. Whether in art, personal development, or healing, monumental changes often stem from a series of small, deliberate actions. This philosophy aligns seamlessly with the Japanese concept of Kaizen, […]
We begin to understand attachment styles when we know a little about Attachment Theory… The psychological theory of attachment Psychoanalyst John Bowlby was the first to research and described the effects of separation between infants and their parents. He went on to develop the theory of attachment further with Mary Ainsworth, a developmental psychologist. Parents […]
In our lives we will all experience events that could be considered traumatic. In fact, there is a case to argue that we are the most traumatised generation in history.
Trauma has been periodically recognised then forgotten since we first began studying psychology.
